Braindozer

Braindozer artwork featuring the Braindozer car The Braindozer car is a blacked-out seventies Mustang that has been hot-rodded with a gigantic engine and hood scoop that protrudes through a hole in the hood of the car and extends well past the height of the car’s roof. The car is parked in a hero pose that shows us the front and left side. A label on the fuel cap informs the driver that the engine runs on four-twenty only, but the Braindozer car is a zero emission vehicle because the exhaust is routed into a holding tank in the trunk when driving, or into the cabin when parked. The LED running lights come on and flash a decorative pattern as the engine fires. We see a giant spark through the front grille and the rotors on the front of the protruding engine align themselves and then spin furiously in tandem, their kinetic energy causing the car to bounce joyously on its high-performance shocks. The LED headlights light up, glowing pale green to cut through the fog coming off of San Francisco Bay. When the audio player is activated by choosing a song, an antenna telescopes out of the rear of the car so that music can be obtained from the Braindozer server via wireless networking, and a callout appears above the car that shows us the audio player interface from inside the car. The audio player has old-school analog dashboard gauges with pointers that move to inform us when songs are loading and playing and describe their meters and tempos. As a song loads, the loading meter sweeps across its gauge. When songs are playing, the playing meter crawls across its gauge to describe the full length of the song. The car’s running lights also flash random decorative patterns as songs load. When the music begins, the car’s wheels begin to vibrate and we see that they are audio speakers, their cones moving a little or a lot based on the ever-changing amplitude of the audio playback. When the audio levels peak, the car bounces up and down on its shocks like it’s dancing. As the engine continues to run, it starts to glow yellow-orange through the front grille, and the cabin starts to fill with ethereal green light and smoke. Over time, the engine glows hotter and hotter until the front grille and the hole in the hood glow bright red. Desperate for oxygen, the hood scoop on the top of the engine opens up its 3 air intakes and we see the red glow of the engine escaping there, too. The green light in the cabin gets brighter and the cabin smoke gets thicker. Now you’re riding with Braindozer.
  1. Swing Ditty ’72
  2. Rex Goliath
  3. M.O.B.S.

Written and performed by Braindozer:

Produced by John R Santos.

Artwork and code by Simon White.